I Always Seem to Disappoint You
by AwesomeManiac22
Summary: Ginny suffers after her 6th year, between her being all alone and constantly being tortured by the Carrows during detention. Will she be able to come back from where she went, and even if she does make it back, will she ever be the same? And what does Harry have to do in all of this? Read and Review! Warning: This is a dark story. Warning: Molly, Ron, and Hogwarts bashing.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters, only the plot. Hope you enjoy it. Read and Review please.**

* * *

Ginny's POV-

I looked around the Great Hall. It was filled with the aftermath of the battle. Some were crying, others were just managing to hold back their tears.

The other Weasley's faces were stony, all sad about Fred. I sat there along with them, since my mother clearly wouldn't let me leave. I wanted to go scream at Harry for being such a prat, but I wouldn't be allowed such privilege. So I sat there, as I watched as everyone else was able to move freely, but I was stuck to one spot.

The sounds of conversations slowly filled the room. Talking about their futures, what lied ahead for each, while I sat here in silence, dreaming about being somewhere else.

I felt a warm liquid slowly drip down my back. I instantly knew what it was. I needed to be alone.

I stood up and started to walk away, but **someone** had to speak. "Ginny, sit back down!" My mother scolded.

I turned around, not even trying to hide that fact that I was annoyed. "I have to go to the bathroom! Is it illegal for me to go to the bathroom to pee?!"

"You are needed here at the moment.", she said.

"Doing what exactly?! We've be sitting in the same spots, not talking, for the last two hours!"

"We are grieving! Now, sit back down.", she said sternly.

"Well maybe I've had my share of grieving for the day!"

"That doesn't matter! Now sit back down!" My brothers were clearly watching us as we had our loud argument.

"Mum, she just has to go to the bathroom, just let her-" Bill started.

"No!" She scolded.

I just walked away. I could hear my mother yelling at me to come back, but I couldn't deal with this right now. I needed to be alone, for more than one reason. I had started bleeding again.

During the school year, I had gotten many detentions. I was lucky to go three days without getting detention from one of the many Death Eaters that were our teachers that year. Their version of detention for me involved torture to find out what I knew. I never told them anything.

I had been whipped and beaten more times that I could count, and I had been on the receiving end of the Cruciatus Curse more times than I'd care to admit.

I quickened my pace to the Common Room as I drew nearer. The warm liquid started falling faster down my back.

The Carrows had recently started cursing my wounds so that they would take forever to heal, no matter how many creams, potions, and charms you used. There were only a few creams and potions that worked for about 5 hours, if I was lucky.

But the blood loss was a pain in the arse. I would often become light headed and faint because of it.

I entered the Common Room and headed up to my dorm room as fast as I could, making sure to close and lock the door behind me. I grabbed the cream from the bottom of my trunk and walked into the bathroom. I quickly got my shirt off and let it drop to the floor.

I looked over my shoulder into the mirror on the wall. I could see all of the closed jagged scars running down my back and under the waistline of my pants. I then focused my attention on the open wounds from the Carrows that also ran down my back, bleeding.

I quickly started rubbing large amounts of the cream on the open scars, quadrupling the recommended amount. This would hopefully stop it from bleeding for over 4 hours, maybe even five.

I took in a ragged breath as the stinging sensation ran through my entire body, causing the bleeding to stop, but the wounds wouldn't close.

I quickly bandaged up the open wounds and put on a new shirt before laying down in my bed. Exhaustion pulling down on my eyelids, convincing them to slowly close, and succumb to nightmares that awaited me.

I forced my eyes half open while I looked through my trunk for the potion that I made to replace the blood that I was losing. I quickly drowned it down and slowly was able to open my eyes wider and wider before coming to be as awake as I could be with only sleeping for two hours over 24 hours ago, the bags evident under my eyes.

I pulled myself up to go search for Harry, looking forward to slapping him and hitting him with one of my infamous bat bogey hexes.

* * *

A few minutes earlier in the Great Hall-

"Mum, where's Ginny?" Ron asked, walking up to his family with Hermione at his side.

"She ran off about 10 minutes ago. If you find her, tell to get back here! She'll be lucky if she's only grounded for a month… abandoning her family, that's not how a young lady should behave! Her job is to help take care of this family!" Molly exclaimed angrily.

"Umm… well, we'll let her know if we find her." Hermione said, clearly uncomfortable with Molly sexism, and quickly ran off with Ron to find her. Harry wanted to talk with her, but didn't want to show his face while looking for her, scared that he'd be roped into talking with someone, when he wanted to clear things up with Ginny and go to bed.

"Do you want to check the Common Room, Harry, Ron?" Hermione asked.

"Sure." Ron said, and they headed towards the Common Room.

* * *

Ginny's POV a few minutes later-

I slowly walked down the stairs, praying that I wouldn't faint. I heard the Portrait open and saw Ron and Hermione enter the common room.

"Ginny!" Hermione called.

"Hi." I said, forcing a small smile.

Hermione came over and whispered in my ear, "Harry's waiting for you on the Astronomy tower."

"Please, don't hex him. I want to have a best mate tomorrow." Ron said.

"No promises, I need some target practice." I said, exiting the Common Room.

Next thing I knew, I was at the top of the Astronomy Tower. "Harry."

"Gin." Harry said, appearing in front of me from under his invisibility cloak.

I pulled my wand out and pointed it at him, unable to control my anger, "Give me one reason not to hex you so far into the future you end up in the past!"

"I just wanted to keep you safe…" Harry said.

"Keep me safe. Keep me safe! I was never safe! From the second that I laid my hand on that bloody diary I wasn't safe! I wasn't safe because of my family, since we're blood traitors! I wasn't even safe here, one of the safest places in the world! Instead, you had to break my heart in the process! You ran off and left me here. No one even believed that you broke up with me anyway, so you weren't doing me any favors. Your Golden Trio ran off and saved the day! You went off and killed Voldemort, the monster that has been ruining my life ever since I started this horrid school! And do you want to know what I did, I came back here, to this evil prison! I came back here to continue to suffer every day, multiple times a day! I even have the scars to prove it! Constant reminders of what this place has done to me! I had to run the DA, with only the help of Neville and Luna! I constantly planned different pranks and events to keep the DA's hopes up! And I had no one, and I mean no one, to keep my hopes up! I was truly and utterly alone in this place! Neville and Luna were always off together, keeping each other safe, keeping each other company, keeping each other's hopes up! You left me, YOU BASTARD!" I screamed. I started to raise my hand to slap him again, but collapsed into his arms, not having the strength to keep going. I had nothing left.

"I never wanted to… I never wanted to leave you." Harry said, while running his fingers through my hair, trying to comfort me. "I love you."

"Wha-what?" I asked, not hearing him correctly.

"I said, I love you, Ginevra Weasley."

"I… I love you too, Harry James Potter." I said, smiling at the fact that I had finally said the words that had haunted me the most since he left. "As long as you never, and I mean never, break my heart again by leaving me, or else I promise that I hex first and ask questions later."

"I could never even dream of leaving you again. I was miserable without you. I constantly was looking on the map for you, trying to imagine what you were doing and that I was there with you."

"So… how was your little adventure? Did you have fun breaking into the Ministry and Gringotts?" I asked, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

"Oh, that trip where I destroy the most powerful dark wizard in the history of the world, it was a piece of cake." Harry said, smiling back at me.

We eventually sat down and watched as the sun set behind the mountains that surrounded Hogwarts. We were both clearly tired, since we were both yawning frequently, but didn't want to end the moment, which turned into hours. Hours in which my mind was thankfully blank.

I was taken from my peaceful state of mind when one of my many brothers and his girlfriend decided to come see what we were up to.

"Harry, are you still breathing?" Ron asked. I looked over at Harry, who was sleeping.

"Shut up Ronald! He's sleeping!" I loudly whispered at Ron.

"Wha-what's happening?!" Harry said with a start.

"Nothing, Harry. I'm sorry that we woke you up." Hermione said."Come on, let's go back to the Common Room to go to bed."

I helped Harry with walking because he looked like he was about to pass out from exhaustion. I felt bad for keeping him up so late when he was obviously tired. We all headed back to the Common Room and up the stairs to the boy's dormitories. I helped Harry over to his bed where he almost immediately passed out, but didn't because Madame Pomfrey decided to barge in.

"You three haven't come to see me yet!" She declared as she walked in. "And there's no way that you survived the battle without an injury each."

"We didn't want to disturb you when you were helping other people with more serious injuries than ours." Hermione said.

"Well you shouldn't of waited this long without coming to see me." Madame Pomfrey said.

She spent what felt like the next 10 hours taking care of Harry, Hermione, and Ron's wounds, even though it was only an hour.

"I'll leave some dreamless sleep potion here for you, for later, of course. And some Numbing Potion and Blood Replenishing Potion for you if you want." She said, only placing three of each on the bedside table next to Harry's bed.

"Oh, and Ginny, Neville mentioned what happened during detentions with the Carrows during the year, and that you got the most detentions out of everyone. Is there anything that you'd like me to look at?" She asked me.

"No, I'm great, absolutely fine. Neville mentioned what happened to him during detentions to me too, but that stuff never happened to me." I said, as if I were telling the truth. In case you weren't aware, I'm an excellent liar.

"Oh, okay. Well, if any of you need anything else, just let me know." Madame Pomfrey said before exiting the dorm room.

"What happened to Neville during detention?" Hermione asked me.

"Organizing the shelves, torture, extra homework, cruciatus curse, lines, the usual. So, what did you guys do while off saving the world?" I said, causing Ron to start rambling on and on about their adventures, since everything has to be about him all the time. Hermione and Harry both shot me looks that clearly indicated that that conversation wasn't over.

Harry quickly fell asleep. So did Ron and Hermione, while cuddling on Ron's bed together. I quickly grabbed a numbing potion, dreamless sleep potion, and a blood replenishing potion. Hoping that when they realized that the potions were gone, they would think it was one of the other two and never bring it up again for discussion.

I quietly headed down the stairs to go over to the girl's dormitories, but they were waiting in the Common Room: Mum, Dad, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Percy, and George.

"Ginny! Where are they?! We couldn't find them anywhere!" Mum yelled angrily.

"Keep your voice down! They're asleep upstairs!" I whispered loudly at her.

"Don't you give me that attitude, Ginevra!" She yelled back.

"I'm sorry, but it's been a long day, I'm just going to go upstairs to go to bed." I said, honestly done.

"No! You are in a lot of trouble right now! You joined the battle when we clearly told you to stay in the Room of Requirement! You could've gotten yourself killed!"

"Harry needed the Room of Requirement to find one of the Horcruxes so I had to leave, and I just happened to be pulled into the battle when trying to get back to the Common Room! And me dying, would that've been such a bad thing, I mean, since all I ever seem to do is disappoint you anyways!" I yelled, and stormed up towards my dormitory, slamming the door and locking the door behind me.

I quickly drowned down the dreamless sleep potion and collapsed onto my bed, wishing for it to all be over.

* * *

The next day-

"Ginny! Wake up! Ginny!" I heard someone yell out of panic.

More voices yelled into my ears, while shaking me awake.

"What the bloody hell! Can't a girl get some sleep around here!" I screamed, still not opening my eyes. "Get the bloody hell out of here now, or I swear to Merlin-"

"Gin! YOU'RE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD!" Bill yelled.

"AND WE CAN'T GET IT TO STOP!" Charlie yelled

"Yeah, yeah, I'll deal with in a minute. Now, CAN YOU PLEASE FUCKING LEAVE THIS ROOM!" I screamed, opening my eyes, and finally seeing what my brothers and Harry were panicking about. My clothes were drenched in my blood, and so were the sheets on my bed. It looked like I got my period during the night, but a million times worse.

"I DON'T THINK YOU HEARD US CLEARLY, YOU ARE COVERED IN YOUR OWN BLOOD!" Harry yelled at me, his face was white and looked terrified.

"YES, I HEARD YOU CLEARLY! NOW LEAVE!" I yelled.

"Percy already went to go get Madame Pomfrey." George said.

As if on cue, Madame Pomfrey and Percy burst in.

"Clear the room, please!" Madame Pomfrey said, causing everyone to rush out of the room.

Madame Pomfrey immediately started chanting spells and forcing me to drawn down potions to stop the bleeding. Black dots started dancing in front of my eyes and it started getting extremely hard for me to breath. She was in the middle of an extremely complicated spell that took undivided attention to perform correctly, when none other than my own mother barged in, breaking Madame Pomfrey's focus, thus ending the spell.

"Ginny, my baby! Mum's here!" She screamed while pulling me into her arms, causing the bleeding to increase and pain to shoot through my body, causing me to scream out in agony.

"Mrs. Weasley, you must leave immediately! You're breaking my concentration and causing your daughter to bleed out more!" Madame Pomfrey said loudly, trying to forcefully direct my mother out of the room.

"Why?! She's my baby! She needs me!" She wailed like a baby.

More black spots danced in front of my eyes and it felt like I was barely breathing even though I was breathing extremely heavily.

Then Dad showed up and helped Madam Pomfrey to get Mum out of the room, but my vision went black.

I stopped breathing.

* * *

There was no bright light, pulling me to the afterlife. It was darkness. I was unable to think. My mind was blank. All I was aware of was the darkness that surrounded me. An eternity of emptiness. I couldn't remember what love felt like. I couldn't remember what happiness felt like. I could remember everything from my entire life, but it was all black and white. My entire life had been stripped of its color, and it's emotions.

It felt like years had passed, watching random parts of my life play before my eyes, knowing that I was happy or sad at the time, but the emotions never came to me. I couldn't remember what they felt like.

Suddenly, some of my memories went from black and white to colored. Then more, and more, and more were colorful again. My feelings came back to me, one by one, until I could feel the happiness that I felt when I flew on a broom for the first time. Until I could feel the amazement that I felt when Harry first kissed me.

Then, the darkness was slowly filled with light. I could slowly breath again. My heart started again. I could feel the comfortable bed underneath me, surrounding me with comfort and support.

I fell asleep.

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 **A/N: How was it? Please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I would like to thank the guest reviewer who mentioned Ginny's struggles. If anyone has actually read all of my stories, you would see that they are all Ginny based so far. I personally like Ginny and I don't understand why JKR didn't develop her character more after the Chamber of Secrets. Her and Harry had a lot in common, both being possessed by Voldemort and all. I do thank JKR for adding in PoA that Ginny was also affected by the Dementors when they came on the train. This also means that I hate the PoA movie for not including it and I now scream in frustration every time that I see that scene in the movie. I also feel that even though Ginny is a really strong person, people seem to under estimate her and what has happened to her. SHE WAS POSSESSED BY VOLDEMORT FOR MERLIN'S SAKE. And everyone was just acting like what happened to her wasn't a big deal, or they thought that the whole thing was her fault.**

 **Also, most of the other HP fan fictions either bash Ginny, or fail to include what actually occurred to Ginny and how it might've affected her.**

 **Also, I always include Molly (and sometimes Ron) bashing, because honestly I hate the way she treats Ginny, as if she's a baby. Which to be honest, during the first book, she was. But after the chamber, there was no way that she was the same little girl, she was changed. Anyways, I feel that Molly inevitably hurts Ginny by babying her. So, that's why I include Molly bashing. And Ron! Don't get me started! I honestly hate that thick headed idiot. But sadly, he is necessary to the story, so JKR had to include him in her books.**

* * *

I woke up with start, enjoying the air that filled my lungs once more. I tried to open my eyes, but the room was too bright. As my eyes slowly began to adjust, I realized that I wasn't in my dormitory anymore. I have no clue where I am.

It slowly all started to come back to me. My brothers waking me up. I was covered in blood. My mother barging in, the reason I went to that never ending darkness.

I looked around. I see all of the dead bodies of those who were killed during the battle. _Why am I here?_

I slowly got up, but still immediately regretted my decision. I slowly walked towards the door, trying to avoid looking at all of the bodies. I got out of that room as quickly as my legs allowed me to, and headed in the general direction of the Gryffindor Common Room, hoping to find someone to explain to me what was going on, and why I woke up in a room surrounded by dead bodies.

I finally arrived at the portrait hole, sweating and breathing heavily. After a long moment of trying to catch my breath, I continued through the portrait hole and into the Common Room.

Nearly my entire family was sitting on the couches and chairs around the fireplace. My mother tried to start various conversations-as if she wasn't the reason I left my body and went to that place of never ending darkness-all of which failed. It seemed as if the rest of the family was ignoring her.

I watched as they continued to sit and stare at the fire, not even moving a muscle.

But Bill looked up. He saw me, and he stared. "Ginny." He whispered inaudibly.

I nodded my head, knowing that my voice would fail me if I tried to speak.

Bill got up and walked towards me slowly. Everyone, realizing that someone was moving, looked up and saw Bill walking towards me. They were all crying.

"Ginny." Bill said again, barely above a whisper.

I nodded again. Bill looked over his shoulder and saw the rest of our family staring at me.

"What happened?" I said, barely above a whisper, my voice hoarse.

Bill came over quickly and engulfed me in a hug. "Ginny." He whispered again, as he couldn't believe it.

"What happened?" I repeated.

Bill took a sharp breath, the tears evident on his face. After a moment, barely above a whisper, he said, "You died."

My mind shifted to high gear, trying to figure out if this was a joke or not.

My mother decided, at that moment, to run over and try to hug me. "Ginny!" She yelled.

I pushed her away. She did this to me. Madame Pomfrey could've finished the spell before I… died.

"Ginny." She said again, as if shocked that I would push her away.

"You did this to me." I said, tears threatening to fall down my face.

"No! You did this to yourself!" She yelled.

"Mother! She just came back from the dead! Can you stop scolding her for a while?!" Bill yelled, getting angry. He understood what I'm going through with mum. He went through the same thing, after he got attacked by the werewolf. She controlled his life for him, limiting his leaving the house to practically never. Everything he did seemed to be wrong in her eyes.

"But she did this to herself! She can't take care of herself!" She yelled.

"You're the reason this happened. You did this to me." I said to her.

"No I didn't." She said sternly.

"Yes, you did! You're the reason I couldn't tell anyone about the bleeding! You're the reason I didn't want to leave this school, no matter how much I hate it! I'd rather suffer the cruciatus curse during detention every night than be stuck with you back at the Burrow! You try to control everything that I do! You say that I shouldn't play quidditch, that I should be stuck in the kitchen helping you to take care of the family, that I should be the perfect trophy wife/daughter, that I shouldn't get a job, that my husband should be the one who works to support the family, that I should be married immediately after I leave Hogwarts and have your grandchildren, even though I'm 'too young' to date! You honestly should try to listen to yourself sometime! Everything that you say about what I should do with **my** life contradicts itself! I'm NOT a little girl anymore! I haven't been one for a long time! I'm 16 years old! I've been through things that you can't even begin to imagine! You have no say with what I can and can't do with my life!" I yelled, letting out all of the build up pain and suffering that had been building up since before I could remember. "You lost that girl a long time ago."

With that, I left the Common Room, and went to the astronomy tower to collect my thoughts, to figure out what I was going to do.

I soon found myself on the astronomy tower, when I noticed the familiar black hair and emerald green eyes staring back at me, as if in disbelief.

"Harry." I whispered, rushing over to him, needing something solid to lean on.

We stood there for what could've been forever, or just a few seconds, just happy to be back in each other's arms.

"Ginny, you… you died, how are you here? Am I hallucinating?" Harry asked unsure.

"I don't know. I remember my mother barging in, which broke Madam Pomfrey's concentration, and then felt like I was falling to sleep, and then it was really dark and flashes of my life flashed in front of me but I couldn't feel any emotions. Then, after what felt like eternity, I slowly could feel more and more emotions when watching my life, and then I felt the bed underneath me and fell asleep." I said, tears running down my face.

Harry didn't say anything. He just stood there, holding me in his arms, making me feel secure, safe.

"I thought I lost you." Harry whispered into my ear.

"I thought I lost you too."

"I love you."

"I love you too."


End file.
